Caught up in Destiny
by PadmeRulez
Summary: Jedi Master Mylua Jinn, quietly thought to be Qui-Gon's sister due to their close friendship and shared name, stands by him after betrayal by apprentice Xanatos. Mylua has a strong connection to the Living Force and often struggles with the weight of frequent visions of the future throughout the Saga. Begins at Xanatos's betrayal, goes beyond RotS. Kanan. Orykan. Qui/Tahl, Siriwan.
1. Chapter 1

**Seeing Destiny**

 **Hi Everyone! This is my first attempt at a fanfic so please be nice and review so I know whether it's worth continuing!**

 _Deep Breaths,_ Mylua reminded herself as she silently guided Qui-Gon through a meditative exercise. It had been several weeks since Qui-Gon's apprentice Xanatos had turned his back on the Jedi Order when Qui-Gon had been forced to kill the young man's father on a mission to his home planet, and Qui-Gon was still struggling with the crippling emotional blow of his student's actions. He stayed in his quarters most of the day and seemed to haunt the Room of a Thousand Fountains at night. He claimed to be well rested, but Mylua secretly suspected he had not slept since Xanatos's betrayal.

Concerned for his health, Qui-Gon's friend Tahl had eventually convinced him to let Mylua, one of the temple's most calming presences and a personal friend of Qui-Gon's, guide him into a healing trance. Though roughly fifteen years younger than him, Mylua was a renowned Jedi Master in her own right. She had refused a seat on the Jedi Council more than once, but was still often called upon to attend Council meetings and offer advice due to her ability to interpret premonitions and her compassionate understanding of beings' behavior. Qui-Gon and Mylua had always shared a close friendship as well as a last name. It was because of this that many Jedi suspected the two were actually related. At that moment Mylua was trying to take advantage of their close Force bond to get Qui-Gon to reconnect himself with the Living Force and numb his grief over his lost student. At first she had been optimistic, but it had been several hours, and Qui-Gon's whirlwind of emotions was starting to try even her patience. Each time she reached out to him through their bond, she felt him begin to reach back and then seem to think better of it, as if trying to conceal something within him that had broken loose yet again.

Suddenly the older Jedi opened his eyes. After a moment Mylua followed suit. "You can't keep this up, Qui-Gon," she sighed wearily.

"We've been meditating for hours. It's not going to help any more than it has." he replied.

There was a short pause.

"I can't help if you won't let me in," she begged softly.

Qui-Gon stood. "Goodnight Mylua." He offered a slight bow before making his way back towards his quarters. Mylua sighed as she got to her feet and started down the hallway to find Tahl.

When Mylua entered the library, she saw Tahl speaking with Orykan Tamarik, the young Padawan who had accompanied Tahl, Qui-Gon, and Xanatos to Telos, where she had witnessed Xanatos's betrayal. Orykan smiled in greeting but quickly excused herself, understanding that Mylua was hoping to speak with Tahl alone.

"Perhaps Master Yoda does intend for Qui-Gon to take Orykan as his next student," Tahl mused.

"It doesn't seem right," Mylua shook her head. "If Master Yoda wanted Qui-gon to accept her as his student, it doesn't make sense for him to use Orykan to test Xanatos. Qui-gon still feels responsible for him, and it would feel like a betrayal to replace him with the very girl he feared was meant to take his place."

"But it is likely that, despite his reservations, Master Yoda was not certain that Xanatos would fail his test. He would have been knighted had he passed."

"And Qui-gon would have been free to take on a new student," Mylua finished her thought. She paused. "As it is, Qui-Gon is in no emotional state to be taking on new responsibilities."

Tahl nodded slowly in agreement. "Master Yoda has asked me to take her under my wing until the Council finds a new Master for her, after what happened on Telos. How was your meditation session?"

Mylua sighed quietly. "He kept pulling away from me. Perhaps I should have tried to force my way in."

"He wouldn't have trusted you then."

"I agree. But he can't continue like this. He'll drive himself insane."

•••••••

Qui-Gon stared into one of the many fountains around him. At first he had refused to return to the temple after the mission to Telos, but after a short time he realized that there was no healing to be done by roaming the galaxy alone, and he returned home. Tahl and Orykan had made the official report of their mission to the Jedi Council, and Master Yoda had not sought him out afterward, though Qui-Gon suspected it would only be a matter of time. He knew Mylua and Tahl had been talking about him, if only because Mylua was giving him plenty of space and allowing Tahl to be his main confidant. He sighed, remembering Mylua's gentle reproach: _I can't help if you won't let me in._ It was the first time either of them had challenged him about isolating himself since the Telos mission. But Qui-Gon couldn't let her in. If he reached out past his own mental shields, she would see everything he worked so hard to conceal—the hopelessness, the anger, the shame. He wondered why he cared so much about hiding those things—Mylua certainly suspected they were there. He supposed it was a matter of remaining in control. Mylua could provide better guidance if he let her see those things, but he didn't want her advice. She had never had an apprentice of her own let alone felt the pain of losing that student due to her own failure. Better to work through his emotions by himself than to give others the opportunity to make him move on more quickly than he was willing to.

•••••••

Mylua sat crossed-legged on the roof of the Jedi temple, gazing out over the streets of Coruscant. Premonitions involving Orykan's future Master continued to elude her, but it didn't mean she was entirely in the dark on the matter. What only Master Yoda knew was that while the Force often allowed her to see glimpses of possible futures, she rarely saw herself or those close to her in these visions. She had long ago accepted that the Force had tasked her with using her knowledge to guide others and realized it was probably best not to have knowledge of her own future and fate. Of course, there were other things the Force did not show her, but her inability to sense anything about Orykan's future made her wonder if a certain friend of hers might indeed be a part of it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone! This chapter is a little shorter than the previous one—I'm hoping to write more long chapters but right now I'm mostly trying to get the chapters up quickly so I can get more reviews and follows, so please REVIEW and/or FOLLOW. Enjoy!**

"I don't like this," Tahl spoke quietly as she and Mylua turned a corner.

"Perhaps it will give him the time he needs to sort through things on his own."

"Should we tell him at all? It may only upset him."

Mylua's face remained neutral. "We have to tell him something. He may insist on coming with us or be content to stay as far away from that place as possible," she sighed. "The challenge will be to explain why I'm going with you. You and Padawan Tamarik would have gone alone if Master Yoda thought it would be a routine mission."

Tahl's frown deepened. "The fact that he saw fit to send you as well shows that he expects us to encounter greater obstacles than the mission seems to suggest."

"And the most likely obstacle—"

"—is Xanatos."

•••••••

 _What did I do wrong?_ Qui-Gon wondered for the millionth time. Wondering was pointless; he already knew: he had been Xanatos's friend when he should have been his teacher. Qui-Gon had turned a blind eye to his student's faults. He had allowed Xanatos's strengths to hide his weaknesses. How could he have been so blind? Qui-Gon's thoughts were interrupted as the door to his quarters swished open. "Some people might consider knocking," he pointed out dryly, not bothering to turn around.

"Yes, some people would. I am not one of those people," Mylua stated the obvious. She sat down next to him and placed a comforting hand on his knee. Neither moved for several moments. "In order to trust, we must make ourselves vulnerable," Mylua finally spoke. Qui-Gon did not reply. Trust had not been the issue. The fact that he had trusted Xanatos simply made the betrayal hurt more. In the end, it had been his own failure.

After a moment Mylua removed her hand from his knee, accepting that the older Jedi was not interested in discussing the point. "I leave for Telos IV in the morning. As does Tahl."

He frowned. "What business do the Jedi have on Telos IV now that Crion's government has fallen?"

"Security during the election process—routine mission," Mylua said casually. "Tahl has discovered more texts she wishes to preserve in the Archives, so Padawan Tamarik and I will handle the mission while she retrieves them," she explained carefully.

Qui-Gon nodded. It was a relief in a way; he would be able to go a few days without pushing his friends away. Though he suspected that Yoda would now certainly be checking up on him, and he would have to explain himself.

When her friend asked no further questions, Mylua stood and made her way to the door. "Take care of yourself, Qui-Gon," she said over her shoulder.

"May the Force be with you," he said neutrally.

The door swished shut, and Mylua sighed.

•••••••

Mylua slowly opened her eyes. The sun had not yet risen, but she had been feeling uneasy all night. Finally abandoning her attempts at remaining asleep, she drew upon her Jedi discipline to will her body to wakefulness. When she was fully alert, Mylua began to stretch her senses beyond the confines of her small quarters. She felt the life and breath of the Jedi Temple around her—a beautiful calm at this hour, interrupted only by a few pinpricks of distress. Some were familiar to her, others less so. The Halls of Healing always held a few points of agitation, as did the Archives where Jedi were constantly searching for critical information on their assignments. Qui-Gon's soft yellow Force signature was darkened slightly by wakeful agitation. She sensed several similar sore points in the fabric of the Force throughout the Jedi Temple, each aura darkened by internal conflict. The gentle current of the Force carried her through these sore points, and as she passed she brushed the mind of each. Many were new younglings, awake and afraid in a strange new place. Most of the others who were awake had the training necessary to conceal their thoughts from most Jedi, and Mylua only caught small elements of the conflicts that kept them awake at such an hour. One deep pink Force signature emanated not conflict, but hopelessness and a sense of abandonment. Mylua pulled away quickly—she had felt a similar hopelessness in the past, and she could not afford to fall back into it the morning of a mission. Returning to physical awareness, she put her feeling of unease out of her mind and once again willed her body to accept this opportunity to rest.


	3. Chapter 3

Orykan checked her utility belt a final time. She had always been able to depend on Master Akinslesh to make a joke of it if she forgot something, but she was particularly concerned about how she appeared to Mylua Jinn. She was friendly with Master Tahl, but had been a bit nervous about working with Qui-Gon. Far more nerve-wracking was the prospect of making a bad impression on Mylua Jinn. Though Qui-Gon was a renowned Jedi Knight, he was always warm and genuine. Mylua was known for being a lone wolf and sometimes struck Orykan as slightly cold and a bit artificial in conversation. She had a reputation for being a calming presence and holding great sympathy for others, but Orykan had not witnessed her in that light.

Moving her hand across the sensor to lock her door behind her, Orykan crossed the hallway the one of the Temple's secondary hangers. Locating the diplomatic ship assigned for their use, Orykan frowned slightly. "You're right," said a voice. "It's completely unarmed." Orykan turned to see Mylua Jinn descending the ship's ramp.

"Master Jinn," Orykan bowed slightly.

"Tahl will be along in a few moments," she said, indicating that Orykan should follow board the ship.

Upon reaching the cockpit, they sat in silence as Mylua programmed the navi-computer.

"We haven't been assigned a pilot?" Orykan finally asked.

"Mylua doesn't trust anyone else to fly," Tahl smiled as she slid into the copilot's seat. Orykan's anxiety dissipated slightly with the Jedi Knight's arrival.

"Half of these diplomatic missions fail to be all that diplomatic," Mylua muttered. "I dislike having to displace inexperienced pilots when things get interesting."

•••••••

Qui-Gon sat in the center of the bustling Jedi Archives staring at a holomap of a distant star system. His appearance of studying the map prevented the other Jedi from trying to start a conversation, while placing himself in one of the busiest places in the Jedi Temple ensured that a certain Jedi master would not attempt to discuss personal subjects. Yoda would approach him eventually, but Qui-Gon was content to put the conversation off as long as possible. After shutting down the holomap and nodding to the librarian in farewell, he strode out of the Archives in the direction of his personal quarters. News of Xanatos's betrayal had spread quickly, and he drew subtle stares from a handful of Padawans. He himself had taken the midi-chlorian count of the young Telosian prince and accepted Crion's decision to send his son to the Temple despite seeing that the boy's father was conflicted. Then, when the time came, Qui-Gon had taken Xanatos as his student, seeing great potential in him. Yet somewhere, something had gone wrong, and Qui-Gon had failed to correct it. As memories of his Padawan surfaced once again, Qui-Gon felt a wave of grief building silently inside him. Then suddenly his muscles relaxed, and the Jedi Knight realized he had been holding his breath. Mylua had felt his pain from somewhere halfway across the galaxy and sent a wave of calm through the Force. Qui-Gon reached out to her in return, but it seemed Mylua had been forced to redirect her attention to her mission. The Jedi Knight suddenly resumed his walk to his quarters with lengthened strides. Qui-Gon sighed. He was eager get out of the open hallways. If Mylua had sensed his jolt of grief from such a distance, it was guaranteed that Master Yoda knew about it as well.

•••••••

"Well, if security here is any indication, we shouldn't have much trouble at the polls tomorrow," Tahl spoke into her wrist communicator.

"I'm expecting a call back from some departments later this evening, but so far it seems that the government below Crion has successfully outlived his leadership."

Orykan listened from the balcony of their quarters. Tahl had gone to the palace to assess the current situation while Mylua made contact with various sections of the interim government to determine whether individual departments were able to function normally during the transition. It had been decided that Orykan should go with Mylua so that she could provide any relevant information from the previous mission that Tahl may have missed when briefing the Jedi Master. Orykan had to keep reminding herself to stop fidgeting and focus. She was quickly learning that Mylua often went silent for periods of time when thinking, and it was hard to feel she contributed anything to the mission when the Jedi Master kept her thoughts to herself and Orykan was too nervous to initiate a conversation.

"It seems that all we can do for the moment is make our presence known and wait until we're needed," Tahl said.

Mylua nodded, accepting that her comrade had reached the same conclusion. "We will join you there this evening. Let us know if you need help before then."

"I will contact you if anything comes up." Tahl's transmission ended.

"Padawan Tamarik," she said as she reached the railing where the girl stood looking out over the beautiful city, "I suggest we go for a walk."


End file.
